Author Archives: Benn Abdy-Collins

About Benn Abdy-Collins

The UK's Transitions Mentor Changes happen all the time | What you once knew is no longer | Transitions Mentoring empowers you to manage the effects…

The Day My World Came Crashing Down [And How God Is Picking Up the Pieces]

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Brook, I am very touched by how you’ve shared… Transitions are often sudden and destroy our faith in so many aspects of our lives and life experience. Thank you for sharing about your story, experience and how it has affected your life. It is your honesty that has had me re-blog your post.

Wide Open

Image Andy Bender, 1973-2013

Today I hurt more than usual. No, it’s not because I’m sore from soccer (although my muscles have been screaming at me to stop moving ever since, oh, Thursday morning’s workout), and I didn’t stub my toe or bash my shin into the coffee table. No, today my pain isn’t radiating in a physical way so much as an ache deep in my soul. Today I hurt because it is the sixth month anniversary of the day my world was rocked to its very core.

August 16, 2013:

I remember the sunshine. The feel of the wind in my hair as I drove home from the dentist’s office with my windows down and my radio loud. I can still sense the excitement at the thought of my boyfriend coming over later that night and the nervous anticipation of leaving for my first year of college in the…

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Auschwitz-Birkenau

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Auschwitz-Birkenau

This Holocaust caused so much pain, cost so many lives and showed both the worst and sometimes, the best of humanity. A reminder of the times of change, of transitions (on so many levels) and of how temporary everything can be… is good. Even if it is disturbing, too…

Wanderlust

I don’t really know how to describe my experience of Auschwitz. I think it was all that you would imagine it to be, but so much more real. I wasn’t reading about the gas chambers, I was standing in a room where hundreds of thousands of people were murdered. I saw children’s shoes, prosthetic legs deemed more valuable on the market than on those who needed them, and an infinite amount of hair still preserved, and chilling in its endurance.

It didn’t feel right taking hundreds of photos of Auschwitz, treating it like a tourist attraction, but the five photos I did take, I thought I would share with you. It was a horrible experience, but so much more horrible for those who had gone through it, and those who suffered its aftermath; and for those who realise this, it is also an invaluable experience.

“Those who do not remember history are…

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Making a Difference in Lives

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In September 2013, I wrote to my friend. I was completing an assignment: writing to someone I Love and care for to hone my blog writing.

Re-visiting that email, I see it as the way I wish to engage with every aspect of my life.

(And) that is just as true when I share with patients, with friends; with family.

Extracts from the email are as follows:

I thought I’d write and share some of my thoughts, rather than call.

Writing makes such a difference, it’s presence makes what’s said so much more ‘solid’. I guess it’s the bringing the virtual into the solid?

I am very touched by the extent you include me in your life; I am touched by the honesty you share with and the integrity you have when you tell me your secrets and traumas.

How you include me in your little world; what you encounter and what you go through with courage and fortitude. I hope I help as you allow me to provide an ear.

What really moves me is your honesty and your inclusion. I feel able to bring meaning; so much in life has little value beyond connecting.

Our connection means a great deal to me.

Thank you.

Honestly engaging with people is the very magic that makes Life the beauty it can be. We can all engage. Sadly, we don’t (always) and miss out on what we want: intimacy (with self and others), relationships with integrity, the security of spiritual values; balance and the confidence to face Life and the world we live inside ourselves.

Real communication follows deep, attentive Listening to our selves, to other people and being sincere in all that we do.

How we feel follows how we think and that follows the beliefs we hold.

If I choose to engage with my self, and Be at ease, my space is clearer to build Being with others.

That is honest. And holds beauty whilst making a difference in lives.

Inspired and Passionate

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Making any real difference in the world requires a power way beyond force; it requires the unleashing of a spirit outwards from within; and requires the development of a determined delivery to self and then the world about. There’s nothing like the effect of an idea, of someone or something that’s found their time to be expressed.

What inspires any new thought leader, any new entrepreneur, any budding “I want to achieve something meaningful” individual is both the stories of those who’ve come before and made a difference and the examples these characters have provided as a result. A whole industry is dedicated to serving the needs of explorers seeking to emulate them. Stories of how to do it, tactics, metaphors, parables et al. provide a huge library of reference materials and solutions which provide windows for people seeking ideas and an understanding of the mindset of those they consider successful.

I’m writing this because I’ve just read the inspiring story about Pukka Herbs’ founders. In their own words they tell of how their passion became clear, how their partnership formed and how they went for it. Today, they have a business ever on the increase and growing exponentially. All they’ve achieved came from a joint-venture, a determined vision and a marriage of personalities where synchronicity and synergy proved one plus one can certainly make a great deal more than two. And the bigger they get, the more they seem to develop; it’s as if their growth doesn’t drain them but energises them to achieve more and reach further…

It is a pleasure for me to write this as I do for Tim and Sebastian have shown that with the right idea, synergy, relationships and by placing the idea in the right time and place, the amazing can happen. You have proved great examples for what you’ve achieved and continue to do so.

Blessings,

Benn

Do, Do, Do: That, That, That; This, This, This…

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The more I research being successful, the more difficult and pressured it seems to be… even enough to create a psychosis (if I’m not careful)!

When I consider the advice from experts, the list of “you just need to…” actions becomes longer and longer. To implement their ideas of how to be(come) successful, I must…

* know my niche
* get my brand right
* have a great business name
* have the right attitude
* create a social media campaign
* have coaches for all aspects of my business
* have a clear elevator pitch
* be a master networker
* must not broadcast but, build relationships
* write informational products – books, blogs and articles
* get the SEO right
* be efficient and effective in time management
* understand technology
* understand systems and process of business
* understand what experts tell me
* know what the message is and deliver it with effective PR and marketing
* be confident
* be there for breakfast meetings
* join clubs
* be there for evening programs
* keep up with emails, tweets and my network through regular informative content
* regularly press the flesh
* be interesting and informative
* build good relationships that mean people will buy from me
* know how to speak and close sales
* know how to be good value, charge a sensible fee and get paid
* motivated; energised and excited by what I do
* be wise enough to know where the pitfalls are, then avoid them
* have a website that brings traffic and encourages buy-ins and interaction
* the list goes on, and on, and on…

What I ask is: which and what tools and advice have you found have made the difference you needed to Aha! then implement to achieve your required change?

Blessings,

Benn

Making Life Difficult…

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I’ve recently been pondering about how it is easy to get in my own way. And, I realised, I may not be the only one who does this. For reference, symptoms can include –

* ennui
* lethargy
* little voices saying – not good enough or who wants to hear that?
* hiding away
* etc. etc.

Being alive comes with no guidebook, lots of strange advice and (potentially) interference from well-wishers and “those who know better from their own take on life”.

The result can be a real mess of what and how to do things and confusion…

Does anyone else relate to this? If you do, perhaps you’d like to comment and contribute?

Blessings,

Benn

Touching Another’s Life is a Special Way to Communicate

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So, how to touch another’s life?

Remember how you feel when someone shows you consideration and kindness? You know, the gesture – a bunch of flowers, holding a door open for you, letting you go first – how did it make you feel? Good?

We’re all human and we all have the need to be seen and acknowledged. How about reaching out and acknowledging another person and show you both know they are there and that they are important enough to receive your gesture of kindness.

An act of kindness, an act of consideration can make someone’s day in just the same way it does for you. In fact, you never know, you may just save someone’s life by showing them they are important enough to matter…

And remember; when acts of kindness are performed, both the giver and receiver feel better. So, why not determine to be that giver to touch another’s life?

It is simple, it just takes heart and the risk of reaching out and recognising another human is worth the effort of acknowledgement!

Perhaps you would share how your experience life-touching experiences… Go on, comment!


Blessings,

Benn