Category Archives: life experience

Are you committing emotional and spiritual suicide?

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Recently, whilst I read this post, I read and re-read the following:

The only thing standing between you and your dreams is the excuses and sacrifices you keep making. You’re comfortable and I get that. I am too. But this state of comfort is suicide season for anyone who dreams of becoming something more… Commit emotional suicide, or step outside your comfort zone and follow your dreams. The choice is yours.

It is that little step, that leap of faith, that choice to trust in the not known and doing it; stepping, leaping, choosing… and leaving the what is known and crippling behind in one decisive movement forwards.

Personally, I have years of not trusting, not leaping and not choosing. Has it been Hell? Yes! And I wouldn’t wish it on another.

Our natural state is innocent, curious and untainted by the confusions that so soon arrive in our little worlds BUT, we don’t have to either accept or agree with these confusion-causing factors. We are creatives, we have capacity to shift and become so much more than the suicides of believing that these confusions, pains and emotional and spiritual traumas have any power or control over us and our life choices.

How do we transition from our natural magic into fearing, fearful folk unsure of our capacities, skills and qualities? We copy what we witness and take as true when given by our families, our friends, our other life influencers and make them ours. BUT, we can transition back out from these challenges.

Our past is only real in our minds, our memories, in our stories we tell our selves. One thing for sure is that our pasts are over, gone, past and dead; unless we choose to resurrect them and make them into ghosts and ghouls that haunt and confuse and inhibit us in today’s world. We get to choose.

And, we get to choose how we live with the (dis-)comfort zones these life-affecting factors bring to us… a comfort zone is a place that holds us in where we think we are safe with that level of (known) safety or pain. Anything that’s further than these criteria, we think is unsafe, dangerous or may even kill us. That is often merely an illusion. And, I am living proof that having my discomfort zones challenged, broken and shattered, that I am in fact far more well than I have ever been in my life.

I’ve chosen to challenge my “suicide season” and move from fears that long-held me in my pains: what do you choose?

This is not meant to challenge – well, it is but only gently – it’s meant to get you out and exploring the extra possibilities you life has to offer when you’re not hiding (for comfort) from what’s richly available and waiting for you to discover… Go on: SHARE! Write your thoughts and comments below…

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The Moment Everything Changes…

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There are several constants in Life: death is one, thinking another, taxes a third. A fourth one seldom acknowledged is the constant of change. Here are some thoughts about change and the effects change brings…

* Each and every moment is a time of changes; some are so minimal, we don’t notice their shift; others can be more dramatic – in either a pleasing way or a way that destroys our world experience.

* The bottom line is that change happens all the time – some might call it entropy – but, whatever we call this “IT”, its influence in our life is often (and easily) ignored.

* Many elderly people I’ve worked with have all say the same two things: they never thought they’d be this old and how fast time has passed. Time changed them, they got older (too quickly). They aged moment by moment until one moment they reaslised they were old(er).

* A recent series of BBC 3 programs was about how people’s lives radically changed due to illness or trauma. One was about traumatic brain injuries, another about being disabled in an instant. Each taught me valuable lessons about how people, fellow human beings, are affected by life traumas and how they choose to deal with them.

* One thing that empowers us to deal with change is our innate resilience, the ability we have to manage and cope – how we choose to be affected by what’s happened and what we’ll do about. Another thing we have is the power of choice, the ability to decide how we want the events that have occurred to affect our lives.

Changes transition our life experiences and challenge how we’ll deal with the “what next(s)” we face as a result. And here’s where the beauty, the power, the magic of the human choice to do something remarkable, happens. We can do nothing about the past, it is already gone, some say dead; what nexts are the now, the future and they remain within our power to choose what we’ll do with them.

Sometimes, getting to a place where we can make choices to deal with what’s happened takes a little time, Love, exploration and the opportunity to share and in a supportive environment of listening. A kind compassionate, understanding ear can prove an incredibly powerful way to re-evaluate what’s happened and how to deal with it.

Anyone have any thoughts, feelings or comments on this? If so, please feel free to share…

Making a Difference in Lives

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In September 2013, I wrote to my friend. I was completing an assignment: writing to someone I Love and care for to hone my blog writing.

Re-visiting that email, I see it as the way I wish to engage with every aspect of my life.

(And) that is just as true when I share with patients, with friends; with family.

Extracts from the email are as follows:

I thought I’d write and share some of my thoughts, rather than call.

Writing makes such a difference, it’s presence makes what’s said so much more ‘solid’. I guess it’s the bringing the virtual into the solid?

I am very touched by the extent you include me in your life; I am touched by the honesty you share with and the integrity you have when you tell me your secrets and traumas.

How you include me in your little world; what you encounter and what you go through with courage and fortitude. I hope I help as you allow me to provide an ear.

What really moves me is your honesty and your inclusion. I feel able to bring meaning; so much in life has little value beyond connecting.

Our connection means a great deal to me.

Thank you.

Honestly engaging with people is the very magic that makes Life the beauty it can be. We can all engage. Sadly, we don’t (always) and miss out on what we want: intimacy (with self and others), relationships with integrity, the security of spiritual values; balance and the confidence to face Life and the world we live inside ourselves.

Real communication follows deep, attentive Listening to our selves, to other people and being sincere in all that we do.

How we feel follows how we think and that follows the beliefs we hold.

If I choose to engage with my self, and Be at ease, my space is clearer to build Being with others.

That is honest. And holds beauty whilst making a difference in lives.